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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28090521">I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flynnesse/pseuds/flynnesse'>flynnesse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Witherpulse AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Gore, Exhaustion, Flashbacks, Gen, Illnesses, Impulse needs a hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Doubt, Tags Contain Spoilers, Terminal Illnesses, Transformation, Turf War, Video Game Mechanics, civil war flashbacks intensify, demon impulse, hep vs mycelium resistance, i would be worried too, impulse doesn't know how to look after himself the fanfic, impulse overworks, impulse please just talk to them stop hiding it you dimwit, impulseSV centric, no coffee was harmed in the making, not the marvel one either, or bdubs either, tango is a worried friend, wither impulse, zed those slippers were expensive please stop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:01:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28090521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flynnesse/pseuds/flynnesse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Impulse knew that his time was dwindling slowly and he would do whatever it takes to let them know that he was going to be okay. But they weren't going to let him go that easily.</p><p>Too bad Impulse makes it obvious that there's a problem.</p><p>The title is from "How to save a life" by The Fray. Tags will be updated with each chapter update which is inconsistently every Tuesday.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Tango Tek &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF), impulseSV &amp; Tango Tek &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF), impulseSV &amp; Tango Tek (Video Blogging RPF), impulseSV &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Witherpulse AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Impulsive exhaustion has mercy on no man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Due to the fact that I changed Tango from being the demon, I switched it to Impulse but still had to explain why Tango has red eyes. So here's my headcanon on Impulse and Tango, but really angsty.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His hands ached, they ached so god damn bad, the feeling started to ebb away in the cold night as the hard work of today smashed down on him impromptuly. It was why he never sat down often, never took much of a moment to stay still otherwise his body would never let him move again. Impulse didn’t even know what his efforts were for, what was the success for his labour of love? Well, it was more sweat and tears at this point.</p><p> </p><p>He pressed the shovel into the upturned soil, shirt clinging to his shoulders from the amount of sweat-soaked on his skin from the hot weather of the savanna at his industrial district. His hands shaking as he grasped the wooden handle, body threatening to collapse as his knees tried to cave. Impulse didn’t know how long he had been here, he swore the stars had been up when he was working, just get a few hours in before bed right? But time bled together inconsistently and here he was without any perception of what the hell happened.</p><p> </p><p>Doc just needed them to finish decorating the outside of his game in the turf war showdown territory. Whatever its official name was had slipped his mind as he looked behind him. 13 shulker boxes instead of 1. Well, they had more than enough. Maybe enough to cover the rest of the district when they inevitably won.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse pulled his shovel out of the dirt, throwing it over to rest on his shoulder as he walked on the path to his boxes as he scooped them up with his hands to dump in the storage system. He stopped for a stray second, a dull ache behind his eyes was ingrained into his skull as he watched the stars. They shimmered at him knowingly, sighing as he set the boxes down and messaged Doc about his required items.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>14/12/20 - 02:01 AM</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <em> <b>You whisper to docm77</b> </em>
</p><p><br/>
<b>impulseSV: Hey Doc I got the mycelium for your game.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>It took a few minutes for a reply to ding on his communicator, the small device buzzing in his hands as he struggled to read the message, text blurring a bit as he rubbed the corner of his left eye. He just deemed it to be his usual issues with his eyes, bad vision.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>docm77: Impulse I finished it yesterday. I thought I told you that you didn’t need to get me it.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: Oh I forgot</b>
</p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: my bad dude</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>docm77: you okay? I told you to get it this time yesterday</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: I’m fine yeah, I got distracted yesterday and this was my only chance to do it</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Impulse lied out of his teeth and he felt bad for it, while Doc would understand since he is renowned for pulling all-nighters all the time. If someone knew then everyone would know. Then how could he be as productive as everyone else? The brunette just felt like he had to please people, get what they need for them or have it already available for them. If he couldn’t then what was the point?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>docm77: classic impulse. Remember to at least get some sleep before we play the games later today, I think it's around 10 am when we start.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: thanks for letting me know! I’m gonna go grab some shuteye, you should too</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Impulse knew he wasn’t going to sleep, he had a lot to get done still, like trading with his villagers in the end for quartz. That was next on his to-do list. He shoved the device into his cargo shorts’ pockets and buttoned said pocket up before stretching his wings and taking to the sky towards his nether portal. The cold air ruffled his hair that poked up from under his helmet, netherite armour blended into the night sky and masked him like a silhouette as he soared on the wind that bit at his bare skin. </p><p> </p><p>He looked down upon his redstone district, watching the place shrink as it was lit up in a clear cold white glow, he could sense the faint whirring of redstone from up here as Impulse’s gaze drifted to the ocean, its waters gently lapping at the buildings and the shore. Rushing up to kiss the surfaces and beach before sauntering away unsure, the moon and stars reflected off the ocean’s surface, in such a way it was hard to tell when the sky ended and the sea began, it was like he was looking into a mirror.</p><p> </p><p>The short flight lasted what felt like an eternity which in fact were just seconds as his dark grey, black and yellow wings bet hard in the updraft of wind that caught the membranes. The glass under his feet was barely registered in his mind and he felt like he was just floating aimlessly in the air for several ticks before it settled in his mind that it's just glass. His wings folding on his back from the flared position they had been in. He knew that the illusion tricked Tango a lot, but the person who built this farm himself. Never had it. He shook that thought out of his head with a sigh, digging a palm into his face as he ragged it over the stubble that had grown slightly on his jawline. He probably hadn’t looked after himself for a while, just stuffed a bottle of water and some golden carrots down occasionally. It seems to do the trick to stop his stomach from growling at him.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse leant down beside his ender chest and laid out his empty shulker boxes across the glass, may as well get all his prismarine related items sorted before he went to the trading hall. The brunette slipped in autopilot as he emptied chests in turn and crafted up items, his mind submerging him as he took a second to breathe.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> His breath was desperate against his skin, hot and heavy as he clenched his clammy fists and his teeth were grit tightly. The silence of his base was broken by an agonising wince slipping from his mouth as he leant against the wall. The early morning sun hung heavily on Impulse, his thoughts erratic as they led back to one thing.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Pain. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The pain swallowed him as it rushed in waves, slamming forcefully on his shoulders as he sank, knees crumpling below him as he found his legs on the cold stone. Wings spread around him guardingly as he doubled over, clawed hands clenching at his shirt tightly as he spluttered on his breath. He trembled against the floor, shivering uncontrollably despite it being summer.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come on Impulse, pull yourself together. You’ve been dealing with this for years. This is normal now. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He ground his hands into the stone with a defeated growl, vision blurring as it pinpricked with tears as he rested his head against his thumbs. He tried desperately to fight the urge to gauge his eyes out, the already ruined vision was partially useless to him. Manageable but not helpful. He managed to cover up him walking into things that were way too close, and the sway in his step when he stood up too fast, or when he gave people the wrong coloured items. Normally splitting a grin as he barked a laugh and passed it off as some funny joke. It seemed to work at least. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Impulse needed to stop moping, just get one with the day. But the urge to just lay here against the cold rock was good enough for him. He would have preferred for it to be warmer but he’ll make do with it at least.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He ground his thumbs into his eyes, the blood vessels were black, his irises paler than the usual brown doe eyes he has. The brunette felt his veins pulsing to his heartbeat as he pulled away, staring at his hands as he stared at the black veins under his pale skin. Already fast breathing picked up further till it grew shallow as he blinked at them. The jet black was overwhelming as his vision blurred and tunnelled, the black seemed to swallow his vision as it dribbled everywhere. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “IMPULSE-” </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He jolted from his thoughts, staring at the full boxes as he rubbed his eyes, which then gazed at his wrists again, his veins were a faded charcoal. Impulse blinked as he looked at the boxes and just groaned as he stared at his hands. He checked over himself. No claws, no stupid spines out of his back, no. He pulled out his communicator frantically and switched to the camera as he looked into it to examine himself. No black veins on his eyes, no white glow. His fangs were still ridiculously sharp, his canines biting his lip as he did notice the web of dark blood vessels on his face but that was standard.</p><p> </p><p>The brunette would rather be in this position. He could deal with it. Tango? Well, he would be gone. He was thankful for that. Impulse always will be.</p><p> </p><p>The brunette dismissed his thoughts as he picked up the boxes and put them in his ender chest. Might as well make him useful and busy himself to ignore these blistering thoughts in his head. <em> Just suck it up and accept your fate. You’d probably be dead if Tango didn’t take you in and save you. Can’t you just be grateful? </em>He was grateful and Tango knew that. But he knew Tango was guilty, what that man had asked him to do was weighty and came with a cost.</p><p> </p><p>But he had seen it now hadn’t he?</p><p> </p><p>Impulse stretched his wings as he walked through the nether portal, the purple matter swirled around him. Stomach churning as he tried to ignore how the world seemed to spin around him hauntingly before he stepped out into the warm Nether and took to the air. <em> Breathe Impulse. Breathe and it will be fine. </em> But what if he couldn’t? What if there came a day when his lungs wouldn’t take in anymore? Just cave and collapse like the rest that his fate had sealed him to. <em> You can deal with that hurdle when it comes to it. </em></p><p> </p><p>The bedrock seemed far away, the expanse of grey, a deaden ashed ocean lay below him. His thoughts danced around him more than the world did, suppose that was his splitting headache.</p><p> </p><p>The flight was over before he knew it, as he found the small hole that was his portal as he slid down the rungs of the ladder. Wings folded close to his back as he landed on the netherrack below before taking off to the end portal’s portal. He thought about earlier. It had been a while since it had gotten worse. Whatever this was that he had. He could only describe it as the wither effect constantly, no milk could get rid of it as he slowly slipped from his code.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse blinked and he found himself flying in the end. His perception and memory weren’t really helping him anymore, the exhaustion threatening to swallow him whole as he landed. It wouldn’t hurt to sleep for a few minutes but he had things to do and quartz to grind.</p><p> </p><p>So with a heavy heart and 4 am blues, he grabbed his fish and got to work. These resources wouldn’t gather themselves.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I never really have written a multi-chapter story before but I hope to finish it :)<br/>feel free to hit me up on my Instagram (_flynnesse) if you want to talk about my au or something, DMS are always open</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Tango has more knowledge than Impulse wants to admit.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alternatively called "Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious- god damn it impulse."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tango wasn’t bright, not by a long shot, but he was smart enough to know that something was up. Zed and Impulse would claim that in those instances he had possession of the brain-cell with a laugh and a smile as they’d clap each other's backs. Impulse’s smile never met his eyes anymore. That leads him onto this, Impulse was the one string of thoughts that he was the most able to know and understand what was going on. And recently he knew that Impulse had been distant and he only saw him last a few days but the situation left him pacing and biting his lips.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Darken veins, bags under his eyes, pale skin, unshaven face, a scruffy mess with dirt on his knees and grazed hands, a tired, worn smile pained permanently on his face. Skittish and brash behaviour. He was the most responsible between them but right now it looked like Tango and Zed were the best of the bunch, which was traumatising for Tango to admit.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>When he asked him how he was doing, Impulse ended up freezing as he looked up at Tango with his dull doe brown eyes and shrugged. “Just the usual grind, you know what it’s like Tango.” Tumbled out of his lips and the blond already knew what it was like and he could say for certain that it didn’t look like this. Impulse looked ill, seriously sick and he knew why. He couldn’t get the brunette to open up about it but he didn’t need him to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guilt was hard, if he hadn't summoned him then he wouldn’t have offered. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no point thinking of the would of and could of's, it's happened and you have to live with the consequences.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He couldn’t stop it from eating away at him as he remembered the days as clear as day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dusty ash around him, it smelt like something was burning as the smoke smothered him. A body slammed against him as someone grabbed him weakly, words strained and forced out. He had summoned a demon and didn’t expect to have been pulled into a hug as this lumbering form just threw himself at him, shaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tango didn’t regret summoning him, he never would have met Impulse then, and probably wouldn’t have met Zed either or they wouldn’t have all been as close. He trembled at the concept of them being somewhere else but Hermitcraft. He didn’t dare to think, yet his mind wandered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood in the cold dreary and very airy storage system - if he could call it a storage system, it was more of a dumping ground for his inventory- of his Toon Towers. He should update it to something automatic at least but that was the least of his worries and wasn’t on his mind so much as Impulse was. Either way he drummed his fingers on the storage box in front of him, he had been trying to work on his advent calendar but the moment he got to Impulse, his thoughts went awry on the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The demon had always been kind-hearted, socially awkward and soft-spoken, the literal opposite of what he expected. His heart was in the right place while his brain may not always have been. Tango smiled softly with a chuckle, he was rather young for a demon, he remembered when he took him outside a day after he summoned him and Impulse seemed so shocked over the overworld, sniffing the flowers and sneezing as Tango laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? You have never seen the outside world before?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Uhh- no, I haven’t.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh that’s awful, well soak it up while you’re here demon boy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I will!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse had been so evasive and skittish, like some scared young child, the guy constantly shivered as he would curl up by the fire, several blankets wrapped around him as he purred. Tango ran his fingers through his hair as he looked back on the past fondly, he remembered the scenarios easily, just not the scene. That linked back to why he had summoned Impulse in the first place but he didn’t want to think about that right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond, instead, emptied the shulker box and stuffed his dyed ones in his inventory as he stretched his arms, hearing the crack in his shoulders as he rolled up his sleeves more. He would see Impulse later today due to the games, but for now, he had someone to meet who knew just about as much of this as Tango did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>14/12/20 - 08:32 AM</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>You whisper to Zedaph</b>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tango: Zed, can we meet in the shopping district? I’m worried about Impy</b>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Tango sighed and pulled out his rockets as he straightened up, looking for a response first before he took to the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <b>Zedaph: Sure, I’ve been worried about him too, he hasn’t been himself recently. But I'll see you at the townhall in say.. 5 minutes?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Tango: deal</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that he took to the air and shot out of the air with his elytra strapped against his back, the black leather harness tightened to his chest securely as he swooped in the air. When he flew he could just relax on the motion of the wind in his air, feel the cool December breeze against his skin as he would spread his hands. He felt free and at home in the air. His worries normally drifted away like the clouds above him lazily and carefree, but not today. They surrounded him like a dusky fog, smothering him and choking him in their intensity as he glided over Impulse’s base. He eyed it up and thought to go check if the owner of said water pyramid was home but thought better as it could delay his meeting with Zed and could make the man suspicious of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The beacons were bright as he swooped between them and the slightly more aggressive water than normal, its waves crashing over the paths that impulse had built, washing the quartz clean as it would never dry in the idle winter sun. Bright beams of light stung his eyes as he closed his eyes instead, they were hard to process but he was used to acting on memory alone so he easily flew far enough to open his eyes without burning his retinas out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scar’s HEP factory lay below, the immense detail on the land and build made his jaw drop to the ground on many occasions, Scar was an absolute god at building and he couldn’t doubt him. Ever. He did remember his blasting chamber for the mycelium with a laugh, god the one contribution he made to the turf war and it broke on its first attempt due to a malfunction. Story of his life. He felt like the situation was slowly crumbling as his concern grew more and more, what once was a fun game between friends felt like a race for someone’s life and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never really had been in a position of controlling people’s lives, just his own as he wanted to be the owner of his own fate, not others. He was a follower not a leader, but he knew that the only way he could help Impulse was to step up to be that leader he was so afraid of becoming, but he knew if Zed had his back then he would be okay, Tango just wasn’t ready for Impulse to be pissed that he got involved into this. But the blond would rather get involved and start a fight than sit aside and blame himself later, which had been what he’d done for years now and he could see how much good that was doing for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tango circled over the shopping district before swooping down to the townhall and landed in front of its steps before sitting down with his head resting on one of his hands as he stared at the sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t prepared to let Impulse go, he’d never want to let him go without a chance. He couldn’t give up on him like that and stand aside as his life wilted like a bouquet of dying flowers, petals drifting in the wind to never be seen again. Tango just didn’t know what to do, today was a day that he couldn’t exactly do anything, it was too busy but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make a plan to set into motion. The games did allow him to keep an eye on his demon friend and make sure he was okay and in close proximity in case something happened, but he didn’t want to be obvious about it now, did he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time he brought up his concerns about his position, Impulse would do everything he could to change the subject, laughing and reminding him of some old memory, with being friends for over a decade it was pretty easy to reminisce times much simpler than this. What he would do to turn back time and do everything he could to save him, but now he wasn’t going to let go. He had that firm grasp on Impulse and nothing would shake him, Tango would do everything to make him pull through.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“When were you going to tell me that you did this? Instead of waiting for me to catch up. Or were you waiting for me to never realise and you to slip away without a trace Impulse?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I didn’t want to make you worry Tango, these past few years have been the best of my life and I didn’t want to spend it watching you fade away!” He could hear the raw emotion in his voice as his mouth was slightly agape, Impulse’s shoulders shaking as he spoke.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So you wanted me to do that instead? Watch your life crumble and expect me to do nothing about it because you didn’t want me to worry or find out?” Tango replied as his voice raised, he was unbelievable. Half of him told him to be pissed and the other told him to let it go and go find Xisuma. “Are you so selfish that you would rather for you to help me for your moral compass then want me to just watch because you think you don’t need help?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I- it- it’s not as easy as that Tango, believe me.” Impulse looked down at him, his brown eyes full of hurt as he looked away bashfully, head hung in shame.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why should I believe you when you’ve been lying for me for years?” Tango folded his arms across his chest as he looked up at him, he could see the slightly darker veins in spots on his skin, the paler translucent skin on his neck and wrists.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a few minutes after the high of Tango summoning Impulse to Hermitcraft with Mumbo and Xisuma, he had finally gotten over the shock of taking in the demon’s appearance with his own two eyes and what he saw felt like an echo of the shell of a person who he used to be before. How could he have missed it? How could he have let himself not pick up on the deteriorating state he had been perpetually stuck in for years?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because Impulse didn’t want him to worry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I didn’t want you to be scared and be worried about something that would end up being a slow process for me. You humans die from that disease within a year, it takes me a longer time because demons have a resistance to the Wither Effect.” Impulse explained.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yet you’re more vulnerable to diseases than we are.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was only worse because I was already sick.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So you’re admitting to that. You’re unbelievable.” Tango sighed as the trees swayed around him, the muggy fog of the swamp seemed to suffocate them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mumbo and Xisuma had left a long time ago to start on their quarters of the witch farm, Tango had given Impulse the favour of not shouting at him when he first saw him. Doc sorting out his eyes would be the biggest mistake for Impulse now. He couldn’t turn blind eye to Impulse anymore. Sucks to be him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know I am unbelievable Tango, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to worry about it because there’s nothing we can do about it now. There’s no way to overcome this, it’s a code in your systems that cannot be overwritten.” It’s a code? How did he miss that the first time? He had been too enveloped in the situation to notice what was happening in that moment. If he had noticed it before then he could have gotten help for him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then how did I get over it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because I managed to take that code off you and apply it to my own as it can only really be transferred if there’s a player host and my demon essence made that possible. Humans can’t do those kinds of procedures if an admin is involved because the code is aware it doesn’t react well with admins.” That's why he overlooked it. But their admin wasn’t a normal admin either though.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But only admins can change player codes,” Tango argued, he didn’t want to admit defeat. He did some admin training under Xisuma in season 2 and regularly. But if he couldn’t do anything about it, Xisuma can.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know. Some demon families taught their children how to be an admin and hacking so we could one day take over a server for our kind.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then why didn’t you?” He asked. Impulse seemed more relaxed now that the conversation had been shifted away from his condition but he barely spoke over his past.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because it wasn’t my kind of thing, I didn’t want to cause harm and hatred and violence. Besides I couldn’t after you had, in essence, signed a contract with me to get rid of the disease and I couldn’t return home because I would be killed for not taking part in the arranged marriage, since I was supposed to unite two of our warring clans. So I was effectively stuck in the overworld and thought I would rather die from this than go home.”</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You should have said something.” Tango’s words got caught on his throat as he tried to keep his composure.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I didn’t know how.” Impulse answered as he looked at Tango, he could see the tears welled up in his eyes as he reached out his arms. The demon crashed into them like he did that first time all those years ago, his familiar weight and heat leant against Tango as he stumbled to keep his balance as Impulse melted against him. The blond rubbed his back as he could hear his quiet sobs in his shoulder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We can solve this together Impy.” He smiled softly as he felt Impulse tense under his grip for a second before relaxing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I thought I told you to stop calling me that?” He croaked. Tango chuckled quietly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think I’m owed a couple of Impy’s.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fair enough.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes when he found Zed stood in front of him. A hand on his hip as he held a flask in his hands as a familiar smile rested on his face, fluffy, messy blond hair framing his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you fell asleep! I was about to get a bucket of ice!” He joked with a laugh as Tango got to his feet and shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No no- no need.” He smiled as he held up his hands in mock surrender as the taller blond snickered loudly. “I was just thinking about something and I think I have an idea on how to help Impulse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zed’s smile fell as he grew serious. “C’mon then, let's find somewhere to sit where we won’t be interrupted then.” He grabbed Tango’s arm as he led him deep into the shopping district, ignoring Tango’s grumbles and whines when they walked over mycelium.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to ruin my slippers!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tango you can get another pair!”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to say that due to the nature of how close Zed, Impulse and Tango are and will be in this fic, you can interpret them as being together if you want but I'm only writing them as friends but it can change, however, I may do like canon-diverted pieces of my canon-diverted AU, that's a right canon diversion. Anyway, I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and happy holidays if this is my last upload until after Christmas.</p><p>I do want to write a Christmas themed one-shot but no promises.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It's a plan. A vague plan. But a plan non the less.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I said I wasn't going to update this week but I updated anyway. Welcome to I have no direction where I'm going properly, I only have about 5 chapters planned out and ill have to see where I am then before I continue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zed dragged him into the old trick and treat house as he forced him to sit on the rug as he left his gaze, Tango focused on inspecting his slippers, they seemed okay at least as he was mainly surprised that they had turned up here out of all places. He watched zed board up the windows and door to make the build look more abandoned.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know that he isn’t going to come here, this was our project” Tango voiced his concerns as the taller blond sat in front of him cross-legged.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would he come back to an old project, Tango? Plus knowing what he’s like he will have got distracted at some grinding of resources.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah that’s true, he easily gets distracted by them, I’m just really worried about him. He looks awful. Like really sick.” Tango answered, voice wavering in concern as he fidgeted with his hands across his lip. He looked up at Zed.</p><p> </p><p>The blond’s blue eyes were filled with as much worry as Tango’s were. “I barely see him anymore,” Zed pondered before adding thoughtfully. “In what way does he look sick? Is it getting worse?” </p><p> </p><p>“Last time I saw him he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, he’s just really pale, got bags under his eyes. His eyes look off, like the blood vessels are going black like the rest of his veins have.” Tango explained, Zed was writing some notes on scraps of paper and a pen, chewing the end between scribbles. “I think his vision is getting worse, when we were working together a few days ago I watched him fly straight into a wall. And he’s one of the best flyers due to his wings. It’s like when he is tired and under a lot of stress he can’t hide his demon features, but the demon coding can’t fight the wither coding.”</p><p> </p><p>Zed nodded along, not saying a word as he let Tango speak.</p><p> </p><p>“He kept zoning out and getting lost in his thoughts like he has a lot on his mind and was really distant like he didn’t know what was going on. Kept getting stuck on his words and fumbling but he’s straight up not looking after himself. He looks like a mess Zed.”</p><p> </p><p>“So like how he did during the civil war?” Zed added.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. I don’t think these wars help, he does his normal chores and then goes above and beyond to grind out resources for his team.” What happened last war was the reason why he didn’t want another one again and yet here they were in the middle of another war over a goddamn island. Didn’t the first one start over a bush? And this one started over grass. What was it with Hermits fighting over greenery? He dismissed his thoughts as he continued talking. “I think he’s almost at the stage I was at.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> One day everything was fuzzy, the colours were incoherent and made no sense. He had been starting to get used to it to be fair. Trying to figure out what colour meant what and was just about successful, he had been trying to figure it out himself and was recognising objects based on their form and silhouette than their colours. Then the next he could see nothing at all. He laid in bed for hours, unable to process it as he scattered at his face, at his eyelids, they still were there. His eyes were open and there was nothing, just darkness that swallowed him like the blood in his veins. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was a hand on his knee that jolted him out of his thoughts as he jumped, Zed’s soft voice intruded the memory. “When you lost your sight?” Tango nodded as Zed continued. “How long did it take for you to get there?”</p><p> </p><p>“9 months.” He replied, dreadfully.</p><p> </p><p>“And how long has Impulse been sick for?” There was the question he was worried about.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“9 years.” </p><p> </p><p>Zed whistled loudly as he scribbled something down. “Do you know how long you had left at that point?”</p><p> </p><p>“About a month or two,” Tango answered as he could hear both of their hearts sink. “The process is different for everyone though, some people would be gone at 9 months, some it takes them almost 18 months. So I'm not saying that Impulse only has one or two years left.”</p><p> </p><p>“Basically we don’t know if he’ll be too far gone this year...or in 9 years?” Zed’s voice was small as he met his gaze sadly.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. Every day matters.” Tango responded he knew his voice was about as soft as Zed’s. His heart had sunk into the pit of his stomach as he slumped a bit, rubbing at his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“What are we supposed to do? Does anyone else even know?” Zed asked, his voice was still quiet but it picked up in pace frantically.</p><p> </p><p>“No one else knows I had it, and no one knows that he has it,” Tango answered as he fidgeted with the tassels of his pyjama bottoms. “I was thinking about an interaction we had on the day Impulse joined the server and I might have an idea. Impulse said that he managed to transfer the wither coding off of me to him and that he was able to do it because he knew how to be an admin. He said normal admins can’t transfer the code because it knows if someone is an admin, and normal players can’t do it-”</p><p> </p><p>“-but Xisuma isn’t a normal player!” Zed interrupted with a hopeful cry. “So he still has a chance?” he added hopefully as Tango looked up at him. The amount of hope that the blond was hanging onto that thought hurt. What if he was wrong? What if no one could help him? What if it was just false hope and Impulse was as good as dead? <em>Then it's your fault, isn't it?</em></p><p> </p><p>He pushed the intrusive thoughts out of his head as he continued, “Maybe. I’m not sure.” Tango sighed. “I need to talk to Joe because he might have an idea on this effect or have a name for it at least. All I know is that it’s rare, there’s no cure and if you get the disease you’re as good as dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you’re cured, you’re alive!” Zed argued hopefully, fists clenched as Tango shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m only still alive because I summoned Impulse and saved him from his fate, no other demon would have listened to my request because they knew that they were doomed if they accepted,” Tango explained. “Impulse was already doomed. He just took the chance cause he knew he would be free for a while longer.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t we summon another demon?” Zed asked.</p><p> </p><p>The shorter of the pair shook his head. “They wouldn’t help Impulse, he’s an outcast and a traitor because of me. But they can’t get on the server, it's whitelisted.” Tango sighed defeatedly. “We can talk to Xisuma and Joe later and sort this out, I hope.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t the games today, though?” Zed asked. God he forgot, Tango slapped himself in his mind as he sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” He checked the time on his communicator, 9:20 AM. He was at the townhall at roughly 8:35 AM and had zoned out for who knows how long. So it sounded about right. “Impulse is playing first against Bdubs. I’ll go and keep an eye on him and cheer on Bdubs. But I think whenever he’s playing, I’ll keep an eye on him, and if I’m playing when he’s not you keep an eye on him. That sound good?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup, ‘Operation: Watch Impulse like a hawk so he doesn’t do something stupid’ is ready.” Zed saluted as he got to his feet and pulled Tango up with a hand that he held out, the shorter took it and let himself be hauled up.</p><p> </p><p>“What have you got to do today?” Tango asked as he put his communicator away and stretched his arms as Zed was taking a draft of his tea flask. He shoved it in his bag after he finished.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m working with my pigs in space!” He replied happily as he removed the boards from the door as Tango followed after him.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds fun if you need any help with it let me know.” Tango offered as they left the premises and stood on Iskall’s path as a gentle breeze ruffled their hair and clothes. He laughed as he watched Zed yelped and jumped out of the way of some llama zooming past on the floor. It almost felt normal except for the unignorable tense worry that was in the atmosphere between them.</p><p> </p><p>“I will.” He looked up at him sheepishly, nodding as he patted down his clothes since they were dishevelled.</p><p> </p><p>Tango placed his hand on his shoulder as he gave him a soft smile. “He’s going to be okay Zed, he’s strong. He’ll keep fighting no matter what but we also have to keep fighting for him too. Okay? We can’t let Impulse down. And because of that, he’s going to be fine, Impulse is going to make it.”</p><p> </p><p>Zed nodded softly as he listened to him, he was nervously biting his lip. “We have to believe it. Because we’re the only ones who know and can help him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” Tango agreed. “I’m going to the turf war showdown area for the games. I’ll update you on anything that happens okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll talk to you later, Tango!” Zed took to the air with a shout and a burst of rockets as his form disappeared into the distance.</p><p> </p><p>Tango was left standing in the path, pressing his head into his hands as he backed up against the wall of the trick and treat house. God this was a nightmare, How could he have let it go on for so long. He should have dragged Impulse straight to Xisuma with a hand clamped on the scruff of his t-shirt. Or when he found him almost delirious on the floor, shaking so intently that he looked fatally sick. Or when he collapsed on the battlefield, black blood dripping from his mouth that he had to drag him away from the battlefield without a care of what other people thought. An arrow embedded into his chest when the final attack of capture the flag commenced. He even saw Grian running in front of him with the flag but he did nothing, more focused on helping Impulse than helping his teammate.</p><p> </p><p>He could have been okay by now if he hadn’t hung onto a promise. But promises mean nothing if your friend won’t make it. Today that would change though.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> “IMPULSE!” His yell tore through his throat as his footsteps were heavy on the stone of Impulse’s base. He had only gone there to borrow some items from him. Not expecting to find the owner of his base was curled up on the floor in agony. He could hear his heavy, shallow breathing. His whimpers of pain. His violent thrashes as his hands dug into the stone, claws scratching into the stone. Tango could see that those marks in the base would be permanent, something brushed under the carpet for unsuspecting Hermits. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Before every noise seemed to fade out and the only thing he could hear was them. Before it fell into nothingness. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It was dead silent as he fell to his knees beside him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Impulse- impulse- oh god impulse- Wake up!” Tango yelled frantically as he shook his shoulders, a cry breaking from the brunette as Tango let go. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He took a deep breath. Relax Tango. And put two fingers to his neck on a sooty vein, his pulse was weak and erratic, breathing shallow as he managed to flip him onto his back. He sat hesitantly beside him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> This was all his fault, he should have said something by now, yet he hadn’t because he was too afraid of what could change for the worse or better. Change was a terrifying concept, it was unknown and unsettling and would give you no mercy. Nevermind the future Tango! Focus on the present. What was he supposed to do?  He didn't want them to be kicked out for not telling their other Hermits, they had lied to everyone about the situation. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Never again, Impy.” He muttered weakly as he managed to get his arms under him and picked him up in a bridal carry as he carted him to his bed. It was hard to get his mind around how limp and quiet he was as he seemed lighter than he used to be, he normally struggled to carry Impulse due to the additional weight of his wings. But he barely struggled. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Tango opened his eyes as he wiped his eyes. Not again. He wasn’t going to lose him again. Well, time to get their plan into motion so it won’t happen again. With a burst of adrenaline, fear and gunpowder he fired into the air as his wings spread wide as he swooped towards the turf war arena area. The sea breeze in his face did little to nothing to help him as he glided across the ocean. There was too much on his mind and too little to process it.</p><p> </p><p>He landed by the pit, finding Grian standing waiting on his communicator as he sat. This was it. Tango waited. He had a suspicious Impulse would be late. It was almost 10 AM and he wasn’t even here yet. Bdubs and Grian were talking and joking over something as he messaged the global chat.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>9:58 AM</b> </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Tango: impulse where are you?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tango: the game is starting soon.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: oh I was getting some morning trading in, ill be over soon :)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>This wasn't looking good for your case, Impulse.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I apologise for any spelling mistakes or if anyone is out of character.</p><p>Me: *doesn't know what to write to get to a 2k chapter*<br/>Me: *inserts relevant flashback that somehow works.*<br/>Me: this is neat</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Watching the grass grow, the scores stack and the derps drop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it's been a while, I'm going to be uploading once a fortnight with about this much length in each chapter, this is so I have more of a break and more leeway for exploring my writing and challenging myself. But this will inevitably one of my longest chapters, I doubt many will be as long as this.</p><p>This chapter isn't exact to what happened in the original as I couldn't bring myself to watch and study what was said so I used Impulse's condition for my writing advantage lol</p><p>There may be writing mistakes as I do not proofread and just use Grammarly and fix whatever when I have the chance.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He was mentally slapping himself. Time had fled by like water through a sodden gate, bursting at the dam and rushing past till he couldn’t keep his head above the current. Slipping away like his comforts for himself. Slipping away like his hold on his friends. Impulse didn’t want life to transcend into this chaos of chasing his demons and nightmares away with a burning pitchfork but it was easier to let them in than tiring himself more by trying to fight it away. Let himself fade into nothing like the void below him. So calm and so empty, so lifeless and so unforgiving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The static bit at his ears, like there was only him and the vast desolate air around him, the noise of the villagers tuned out as he couldn’t help but find himself at the edge as he fell into his thoughts. Impulse knew he was so calm and so empty like this void. Pushing everyone else away because he was afraid of their worry, afraid of them getting upset or attached when it was over. He didn’t want them to be hurt by his decision that came with fate. Life happens, it comes and it goes. It’ll bring life into this world, and it can take it away just as easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fate was cruel. And he found himself being played in her hands, his fragile life. She could rather easily snip his thread within any moment, yet he still found himself holding himself back. Becoming reserved as he didn’t want something bad to happen. When he should live in the moment and do what he wanted while he could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse found himself standing at the edge of the island, his hands and wings spread as his eyes were closed. Listening to that static that was ingrained into his ears as the pinging and vibration of his communicator startled him and he almost fell off the island with how unsteady his balance came from that noise invading the pressing white noise. He shook his head as he pulled out the device as he gathered his balance and his wits, breathing shallow in his ears as he rubbed at his face and stepped away from the edge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse paled at the screen as he stared at the time, Gods he was going to be late! He completely forgot about the turf war games that were taking place today and got busy with his trading for his base. He had big plans that needed bigger amounts of resources than he was used to. Breathe Impulse, act normal. It’s just Tango.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>9:58 AM</b>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Tango: impulse where are you?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tango: the game is starting soon.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hastily typed a reply as his hands shook and he looked over the edge with an idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>impulseSV: oh I was getting some morning trading in, ill be over soon :)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse pulled off his armour and his items and shoved them in an ender chest he left at the trading hall as he spread his wings, feeling the wind rush up to meet him as he swept into a dive. The suffocation of the void fogged his mind as his wings folded against his back. It swallowed him whole as the darkness crept in before rushing around him to chip away at his delicate existence. Icy cold gusts echoed around him, nipping at his bare skin as it crushed on him and his vision drifted to black. Impulse didn’t know if his eyes were open or closed until the rush of air in his lungs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>impulseSV fell out of the world</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Your respawn point was destroyed.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The breath in his lungs was ripped from his chest, the choking fog replaced with a crushing tide as he snapped open his eyes as bubbles rippled around him. Water sodden clothes drifted as he was weighed down by the heavy weight as he felt something burn at the soles of his shoes. Impulse couldn’t focus, the burning of his lungs made it difficult to make sense of the situation until he stumbled and fell out of the water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He landed hard on his bum, wood below him as he doubled over and coughed out the water that strangled his lungs. Shaking his head as he tried desperately to breathe. Shallow desperate breaths echoed in the room till they eventually evened out as his clothes clung to him awkwardly. What was he doing here again? Confusement clouded his judgement as he rubbed at his eyes and got to his feet with a stagger and looked around. Xisuma’s respawn area. That made more sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was oddly relaxing standing here as the shrubbery sat adorning wooden beams and shelves, however, the moment was speared with the realisation of why he died in the first place. The games! He spread his wings and shook the water from them as with a flap he burst through the layer of the water, splashing the ocean that lay above as he angled himself towards the turf war.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse knew flying while he had gotten wet was more difficult but his wings can rather easily take the brunt of the extra weight of the water-soaked in his clothes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take him long to land on the mycelium with a janky landing, he stumbled on his feet and did spray the muck and blades everywhere a bit, getting mud all over his shoes. He looked up to the concerned gaze of the three who were already there. It wouldn’t take long for the teams to appear to watch the games unfold but he couldn’t help feeling reassured at the concerned gaze that he knew Tango bore into his back as he glanced at Grian and Bdubs sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi guys, I’m sorry I’m late.” He apologised. “Are we ready to start?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grian nodded as he introduced the pair to the game and explained the rules, renaming it from ‘Grian’s skydive.’ to “Grian’s rings of death!” with a lot of vigour from Bdubs who seemed rather chill over the whole experience. Impulse couldn’t help but tune slowly out of the content of his words, it was like he had at least recalled some of it as he knew mainly what the rules were but he couldn’t exactly remember what words were stated by him as he stared blankly at the suspended hoops and the plane up above. If he didn’t gulp before at the name change, he certainly did now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“There’s so many of them… How many did you place?” Impulse queried as he gaped at the sky, the rings glittered in the sun as he couldn’t help but be in awe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A hundred.” Came Grian’s voice, he sounded tired from where he stood by the board, but to be fair he had been positioning them today. Which sounded a lot more than what Impulse had done. “There </span>
  <span>must</span>
  <span> be a hundred.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A hundred? Well, that’s gonna be the name.” Bdubs added as he looked between the pair. “A hundred rings of death.” Grian laughed as he took them to the plane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was jarring when he suddenly found himself in the plane with a respawn point set. Standing precariously on the edge as he looked down. He normally was pretty cool with heights but the small space of the jet was claustrophobic and caused his knees to shake a bit as his body locked up. Would now be a bad time to forfeit when he was already up here and there was no replacement to challenge Bdubs? He looked up at the wide-eyed man, clothes rippling around him as he stared off his side with a look of excitement and glee. This wasn’t the proper thing and was just a test but he couldn’t help but force down the taste of bile he felt in his throat as his heart hammered in his chest. There was a countdown in his ears as the ground seemed to fall out from under him as a yell tore from his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt disoriented and it felt like an eternity that he was suspended in the air with his vision tunnelling as his body was ripped at by unforgiving winds. He couldn’t make anything out and with his wings folded to his back and wanting to open so he didn’t meet his demise, he hurtled straight into the ring. His vision overwhelmed with a flurry of pain and gold and green light in his eyes that seemed to blind him before he crashed into the next one, he could still feel his body falling as Impulse found himself back at his respawn bed as he breathed heavily. It was uncomfortable and his back and stomach hurt from where they hit into the glass. But as quick as it came the pain went.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shrill voice came over his senses. “I MADE IT! Grian’s my fly teacher!” Bdubs yelled into their call they had synced up with their communicators.</span>
</p><p>
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  <span>“Thank god that’s just a practice.” Impulse sighed, his voice more worn than moments before as he rubbed at his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It should count!”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The game went as well as the practice did, Impulse could barely concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing other than trying to not submit to the lethargy that pulled at him and tried to drag him down into unconsciousness. Bdubs’ cheers got more and more guilty on Impulse’s mind. He was dragging the team down and he didn’t want them to lose because he couldn’t get his act together. The thoughts bit at him like he bit at his nails when he felt overwhelmed. He wouldn’t surrender to them but he wouldn’t argue back either. Just get it over and done with and that’ll be fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse recalled some point in that mess of a nightmare that Bdubs had set some bet on the game, he didn’t remember what but he agreed to the chatter than was ebbing around him, something to do with lamps if he thought about it long enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He died several more times and he could tell that his team would be facepalming and sighing on the sidelines as HEP smirked and made a variety of jokes about the team’s ability. Or shamelessly, Impulse’s. He wouldn’t put it past them. Both teams had people of varying competitiveness and the brunette was a bit competitive himself so he didn’t blame them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet why did it hurt so much to see that? Even if he knew it was true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to dismiss his mind’s rambling incoherence as he picked himself up off the bed and continued to just fail again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like you always do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grian seemed disappointed in him as he announced the scores and found that Bdubs had swamped him and pretty much doubled his measly score. Impulse wasn’t surprised but he was saddened at the fact that his normally impeccable flying let him down. He was about as good as their feather winged hermit, sure he was slighter than him and more agile but Impulse’s wings were heftier, could carry more weight and use more force than Grian ever could. Even with training or practice. He had stamina and force but grian had speed and dexterity that made him more nimble with his delicate wings that fluttered the air instead of Impulse’s that tore at the sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did he always seem to compare himself to someone else? Then shoot himself down. He didn’t know, except he used it to better himself. Started out by comparing his builds with theirs and using it to improve his styles and his skills, now he just straight up kept comparing himself to other people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it because they’re worth more to the server than you? All you’ve done is cause pain to them, have you seen Tango? He rips himself apart because of the position you’re in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse looked up at the crowd as he muted out Bdubs’ loud cheering in his ears as he bit his lip. They could be swearing at him and talking to him and he wouldn’t have even noticed, too distracted and lost in the tunnel that his drained brain threw him in, picking his nails as he shifted his weight. The rest of the Resistance seemed down, well of those that turned up. The groups at least had started to peel away from Grian’s game to go to the next.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which would be Tango’s escape room, wouldn’t it? So why was the owner of the game heading in his direction? His eyes flickered up to his gaze as the blond’s eyebrows were furrowed slightly, red eyes narrowed but he noticed his staring and relaxed his expression as Impulse wanted to back up and run but some intuition told him to stay. If he scarpered then he would be more suspicious, then Tango would probably chase after him.</span>
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  <span>“Hey Impulse!” Tango greeted cheerily, wrapping an arm around him in a one-handed hug as the taller of the two tried to force the tension out of his body. “Are you doing alright after getting your stinky fungus buttcheeks thrashed?” He joked, his signature cheeky grin on his freckled face as his golden hair framed his face.</span>
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  <span>“You come to rub salt into the wound Tango?” He replied, voice soft as he raised an eyebrow as he looked over at him with a sigh.</span>
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  <span>“Maybe, or I’m just checking in on my friend?” The blond answered as he pulled away, the same concerned expression appeared on his face as Impulse felt like he was scrutinising his appearance. He must look like a mess.</span>
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  <span>Impulse shifted awkwardly. “What do you want Tango?” He inquired as he watched the fraud shock on his face, mouth agape as he gasped.</span>
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  <span>“Impulse- Do I need an excuse to talk to you? That’s a tragedy.” Tango sighed dramatically as he cracked into the infectious laughter that never failed to make Impulse giggle along to, even in his compromised mind he still did. “Okay fine, you got me. I’m worried about you, you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. There it is. “I’ve just been busy with projects but I have been sleeping in between.” Impulse argued as he scratched at his face.</span>
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  <span>“Yeah right. Totally. Your eyebags have eyebags mister.” Impulse couldn’t really say anything against that statement because he couldn’t exactly remember the last time he slept. Tango was onto him, unfortunately.</span>
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  <span>“I promise I’ll sleep after we finish the games.” Impulse reassured as Tango placed a hand to his shoulder, his gaze heavy on him as he raised an eyebrow. “I mean it! Seriously. Now, don’t you have a game to run?”</span>
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  <span>“Oh yeah! I forgot about that!” Classic Tango, getting completely distracted by what was going on to even realise. “I’ll see you afterwards yeah? You sticking around to watch the games?”</span>
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  <span>“Yep. Our team is going to thrash you.”</span>
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  <span>“We’re on two-nil Impulse. So good luck there.” Impulse completely forgot that Cubfan and xB went off against each other in False’s game, grass drop. XB lost, so it wasn’t entirely his fault that they were behind, that was relieving.</span>
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  <span>“Yeah yeah. Good luck Tango.” Impulse smiled as Tango removed his hand and bounded away towards his game, rolling his eyes as he watched. Impulse folded his arms across his chest and sat outside of the game as he watched the combatants converge together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Doc and Ren vs Bdubs and Scar? Now, this was getting interesting.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were barely into the first game when everyone could hear the screams outside about a creeper in the game as Doc and Ren laughed joined with the rest of the Mycelium resistance, Impulse was perched on the glass with the rest of his team watching their duo but couldn’t help look over as Scar pulled out a crossbow.</span>
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  <span>“Let me shoot it!” Scar called over Bdubs’ frustrations as Tango broke the glass.</span>
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  <span>“Let me get it, let me get it!” Tango frantically yelled over them as he drew his bow and an arrow and aimed at the creeper. But the blond could do nothing to stop the mayor from firing the crossbow and with a flurry of fireworks that ate at their side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m dead,” Bdubs said deadpanned as they respawned, the whole room breaks into laughter as they watched them scurry back to their side as Tango had to let Doc and Ren duo know that there had unfortunately been an incident.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse quietly watched the things happening as he knew all the solutions but couldn’t help but smile when they figured out the solutions faster than he did. He did raise an eyebrow as Ren just went into the water instead of using a piston and he drowned out the quiet discussion of the resistance as they tried to figure out what they were supposed to do with the items they had been supplied. Impulse did raise an eyebrow as he saw that their pair had completely been thrown by the lava. So much so that impulse sighed and kept muttering.</span>
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  <span>“Jump in the lava. Just jump into it- That’s how you move to the next room.” Impulse sighed. They eventually got the memo when Tango spoke enough to them in his headset as he leant against the glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What threw him after was the second room. He stared gobsmacked as they just crafted a button and placed into on the target block and dove into the lava. Impulse blinked before falling into a fit of laughter as he realized what they just did and saw the rest of the team’s shocked expressions, along with Tango. The game master facepalmed and groaned into his hands as he walked away and bashed his head lightly on the glass. “Oh my GOD” This just caused the Resistance to laugh even more as the HEP watched their team concernedly. They had the lead!</span>
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  <span>HEP were still in the first room while they were on the third? Maybe they had a chance? Unfortunately, they were slowed down so HEP caught up to the second room but they eventually figured out the boat technique from Tango’s hints as he watched beside them and it didn't take long for them to acquire a chicken and dump its remains in the smoker before the lava engulfed them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, they were cheering them on loudly. “Come on Ren and Doc! You got this!” HEP was doing the same but there was no avail, a button was pressed and it was all over as Ren and Doc high-fived and the rest of their team cheered as they made their way down to congratulate them. They got a point. It’s over HEP.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next up was Amaze, Doc’s minigame. Which was Ren and Grian versus Keralis and Cub which was pretty funny to watch the teams get confused over which direction was which and then get chased by zoglins as the beasts would charge after them similarly to how ravagers did in Tango’s Decked out. Maybe zoglins are the nether ravager? Either way, his tired brain couldn’t comprehend what was going on that he barely knew what was left or right like Ren did. It was a fun concept that he’d like to play with some other hermits one day but for now, he would watch them play. Time blurred and it felt like in an instant the time had clocked down and somehow the Resistance had absolutely crushed them and the two pairs were laughing at their inability of directing their team to the blocks but they miraculously stole the win by a landslide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was two all now, and with 4 games down and 5 remaining. Maybe they had a chance?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all trotted over to Xisuma’s game, Dodgeball. Impulse had been looking forward to this and so had the rest of the hermits as they sat on the bleachers as the admin explained the rules. It was simple enough, you get one potion for your team and you have to throw it to eliminate the other team while trying to not be eliminated yourself. It was a nice concept and intrigued him. It would be better if he was less tired as he wasn’t exactly on his game at all. He hovered at the back, not sure what to do or where to go as it was pretty crowded for this many people.</span>
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  <span>Impulse wasn’t surprised when he got hit but the poison damage and the potions grated him down, he couldn’t help trying to ignore the pressuring feeling in his limbs and body as it tried to fight his constant ailment alongside with the effects that overwhelmed him and caused his vision to split as it bubbled. He managed to right himself every time with a weak hold to a diorite wall. Iskall would be ashamed. Impulse could tell that there were concerned gazes stabbed into his back as he fell silent with a pained look in his eyes before it cleared and he threw them a smile and straightened up. If anyone noticed the change, they didn’t say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The game was fun but he spent most of his time sitting on the sidelines. Which was annoying. Impulse enjoyed playing games and being competitive but he just wasn’t today. He couldn’t bring himself to put energy into it, not that he had any to put into it in the first place. He couldn’t help dozing with his head in his hands as he felt a hand on his shoulder. If Tango said anything he couldn’t tell, everything was muted out of his mind as he stared at the ground, the fingers dug into his temple was somewhat grounding and stopped him from passing out but he wasn’t surprised if Tango tried to drag him away, he wouldn’t have fought him either. But since nothing came from it he assumed the blond just followed his body language. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He focused more on the smell of the salt from the ocean and the sickly sweet scent of ‘Stinky Fungus’ as Tango himself dubbed it, instead of what he should be doing which would be the games or giving a damn about himself for once. Both of which were too hard right now. He yawned widely as he shifted his body weight, eyes closed as he rested his head in his hand as the other arm fell limp in his lap. Impulse grounded on the ocean’s breeze in his hair and against his bare shins and forearms as he felt it fluttering his locks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The teams must have not realised he had dozed or didn’t realise they were being loud as Impulse startled awake, bolting upright so he sat straight to just find his team cheering while he blinked sluggishly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tango patted his back as he spoke softly over the yells of the players. “You okay? You dozed off there a bit man.” His voice was quiet enough that he could focus on it without being overwhelmed by having to tune into the other conversations that kept trying to dig into his brain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He croaked softly as he looked over at him as braced his hands on his knees, nails against bare skin. “Just a bit tired.” Impulse replied as he pushed himself up to his feet and crept down the stairs towards the team as he caught Tango’s reply as he felt the eyes of the rest of the server on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just be careful.” He couldn’t promise anything so he nodded at him with an uneasy smile, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the tiredness that was scratching at his system like a wild animal trying to escape. Yet he kept it locked away behind a reserved exterior as he scratched at his face. It wasn’t long to go. Then he could get out of everyone’s site and not have to worry what everyone thought of him and what he was doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The brunette metaphorically woke himself up as he dropped and it felt like his stomach dropped harder than his body did as the sting of poison smacked into his face and winded him, he took a deep breath before water submerged his vision as the bright sun blinded him as he shook his head and got his balance before entering to the rest of his team. This was the last round and they were on a tie, he had to make it count.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If anyone noticed the dark greenish-black tint to his veins on his wrists they didn’t say as he covered his situation by actually trying in the round since he felt like he needed to make up for their losses. Which they surprisingly did, Impulse managed to survive the round as he ducked and weaved through potion bottles with some lethargy, but it was enough to survive the round. Thank god, he didn’t think he could survive getting killed again for a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled himself together to at least mask the panic when Ren pulled them all into a hug as he smiled broadly, tail wagging hard. Impulse subconsciously wondered if Ren would ever sprain his tail from wagging it so much since he knew dogs could do that. The idea made him chuckle as Doc clapped him on the back with a stern smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did it, my dudes!” Ren beamed once he pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
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  <span>“Ey we actually did it.” Doc scoffed quietly in disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean Doc?” Grian sighed as he rolled his eyes, punching Doc’s shoulder for the creeper hybrid to crack a fist and the gremlin to back away nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying.” Doc shrugged, Impulse had a feeling that he was implying something towards him as he looked away skittishly and withdrew from the group. He wasn’t shocked or offended, Doc was blunt and he was expecting it but it didn’t stop the hurt pang from spreading in his chest as Tango approached him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zed gave me this, you want some?” He offered as he led him towards his minigame. “It’s your game now, you want someone else to go instead?” Tango asked softly as he held a flask out, from the smell of it, the pure and overwhelming smell of coffee. Steam wafted out of it and hit him in the face as his stomach growled loudly. “You hungry too?” He laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Impulse smiled sheepishly as he took the flask from him as he took a long drink of the liquid. He handed it back to him as he felt himself wake up more. “A bit yeah though, but I’m okay to run mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You better have left some for me to drink too,” Tango muttered as he looked into the flask and scoffed. “You menace, this was full a minute ago and you’ve drunk about two-thirds of it! That’s the last time I’m letting you drink my coffee!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t have offered it then.” Impulse smirked and laughed as he trailed after him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made a mistake, okay! I get it!” Tango laughed as he held out some pork chops from his hoglin farm. “Here.” He stated as he handed the food over to him.</span>
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  <span>Impulse stared at the food for a second, ignoring the overwhelming hunger that stirred as he took it from him. Tango stared at him curiously before blinking as the brunette just wolfed it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay damn. When was the last time you ate?” Which earned a shrug from Impulse as he really didn’t know, but the clawing sensation in his stomach told him it had been a while at least. “You’re an idiot.” Tango sighed as he gave him another and glared at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse got the memo from his gaze as he chewed on it more slowly and savoured the flavour of nether pig and fire that made for a nice combination, to be honest. It reminded him of the summer barbecues that used to happen and roasting food over a fire while the sun went down over a long day. They stood beside the whack-a-stand by the time he finished it and wiped his hands on his shorts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grim,” Tango commented as he rolled his eyes. “Do you want help with this since I know the gist of it since we worked on it together?”</span>
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  <span>“I-” Some part of him wanted to decline as to not be a hassle for him but he knew that Tango was worried so he agreed. “Alright, come on.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for their game to get on the road and once he had at least explained it to Doc, Etho, Bdubs and Scar, which was the worse part that required his concentration but whenever he went off tangent or just zoned out Tango steered him back on track by continuing what he was saying and letting Impulse carry on from there. Once they got started it was just a while of watching and counting scores as he wrote them on a scrap of paper as the two teams bickered and made banter between them. It was rather pleasant and nice if he ignored the fact that he was barely responding that much, it just took a poke in the shoulder to get a response from him via the blond and a wary eye on him. The coffee at least brought him to his senses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for the game to end, the rounds were fairly quick, around 2 minutes each and within a handful of minutes it was over and he was surprised he did alright and made it through, but then again he wasn’t participating. The Mycelium Resistance absolutely crushed HEP that it was laughable as Impulse congratulated the pairs and as he and Tango headed after Scar for his game.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was time for the Turf war Showdown. And it had been the game that Impulse had been looking forward to the most, there had been problems with Etho and Ren’s redstone and so they would play them later. But for now, he was gearing up in his leather armour crossbow loaded as he stood out in the setting sun. Grian and Etho beside him as Tango, False and Cub stood across from them, green leather contrasting to their purple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to take a few minutes to take in the beauty that Scar had created, it was so immensely detailed despite being just grass and mycelium, he didn’t know how he did it, but the towering tree with its roots ripping up the dirt and weaving in the crevices of the cliff below and the mushroom seated on a similar cliff with its spotted lid shining in the sun. It was like he was in some fantasy film and they had been shrunk by the sight of the large shrubbery surrounding them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scar went through the rules and showed them the contraptions that had been made for the teams’ disposal and they stood in their spawn rooms waiting for the countdown before they charged with a crossbow held in hand. He quickly understood the fate of the game, sprint and try not to die while killing your opponents and hoped you would run into the sabotage cave to mess up the opposing team.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t realise the fireworks would be so loud until it was all he heard in his eardrums, echoing and vibrating in his vision that he could barely hear the calls of his team as they wanted to charge and he hung back awkwardly to defend their entrance. He would fumble for the trigger when they charged, levelling the wood to their figures as they approached with more speed than he could muster, more agility than he could handle. With shaky hands and an obscured vision, impaired hearing he managed to survive enough to fight them off enough till Grian respawned and finished them off for him. His back was against the wall, rough stone scratching his back. Was it supposed to be this sharp? Grian mouthed something to him but it was stolen in the wind and with a pat on his shoulder. He was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he died it was increasingly difficult to pry himself from the bedsheets and continue to game with a fresh weapon. The comfort of the bed was soothing and tried to lul him into the sheets but he kicked them off the bed and sprang to his feet. Running away before he could tempt himself for a rocket to land in his chest and send him straight back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groaned as he got to his feet once again, it was quieter here, he could hear himself think, and all thoughts just pointed to his bed once more. He drove a hand onto his forehead as he let out a long sigh and left, loading up his weapon once more to sabotage the match and protect the home base while Etho and Grian pushed on the offensive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear the bangs as they fought someone, but they clearly were still alive by the amount of rockets that caused him to flinch as he raised his bow up as TNT lit across the ground as he dove for cover with a yelp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The explosion curbed his senses completely, hearing ringing as he pushed himself up with dirt smeared hands, the brown turf churned up under him as he covered his ears and his crossbow was shattered nearby, splinters littered the ground beside his hands. How had he not been impaled? He clenched at the mycelium as he could hear some muffled yells. How he survived a TNT blast at point-blank range was unbeknownst to him but it clearly had messed with him a lot. Impulse couldn’t perceive his string of thoughts that tried to knit together the image that he saw in front of him as he managed to get to his feet with a sway and a flinch of his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some blurry form was running towards him, the greens blended as he made out deep crimson eyes, their loud footsteps as they sprinted closer and invaded straight into his territory. Did they want to get killed? Impulse lagged when trying to recognise who it was, tiredness dragged his thinking process like a sack of rocks as he sluggishly tried to clear the dancing spots that flitted across his gaze. He caught the stray flick of gold under all the greens, their mouth opening as if they were talking but little to no words came out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only thing he could hear was his heart racing in his chest and feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins. That was probably because they were going to kill you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fireworks exploded over the figure's shoulder as they reached out and it swallowed Impulse’s vision whole. Light fading in so that everything he could see was white as he blinked dazedly. Yet they were holding nothing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His knees were weak under him as he felt the world cave in on him. Noises strung together as everything crushed on him and it felt like he couldn’t breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon Tango! Let’s go open up the vault now that he’s dead!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something’s not right Cub, something- he-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything faded to black as his exhaustion took over, unconsciousness swept over him like a torrential wave on his shoulders, all he caught was a yell of his name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until there was nothing left.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm gonna go watch impulse's new video now because I purposely haven't so I would finish this chapter lmao, goodnight.</p><p>I struggled a lot with this chapter as I haven't been feeling great and have been writing this on and off for all of today and yesterday mainly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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